Today’s Headlines

The voices in my head tell me which countries to invade

A new documentary soon to be released will quote foreign diplomats saying George Bush told them “God, told me to invade Iraq.” and “God, told me to create a Palestinian State”. President Bush was busy denying this when his special translucent red phone with no dial started to flash; he needed to take that.
I sure hope his voices know the difference between Austria and Australia; no I didn’t grow up near Schwarzenegger, George.
Note to American voters; it would probably be best for everyone of your next president didn’t go to war because the voices in their head told them to.

Marcus Ambrose’s last appearance at Bathurst?

A very long line has formed to buy Marcus Ambrose a one way ticket to the States after his latest performance. Marcus hopes to gain a Nascar drive next year and if it gets the arrogant piece of nasty out of this country and off my television screens so do I.

Much ado about nothing; so far

Australia is going rabid over proposed new industrial relation laws. The government is spending millions of tax payer money telling us why it is good. The unions are spending millions of their members’ money telling us that it will be at the peril of Australian worker. The media is on a feeding frenzy, yet only the broadest details have been released to date. So the government is saying “That thing we aren’t telling you about will be great for you, trust us”. The unions are saying “That thing that we don’t know much about will be really bad for you, trust us” and the only thing they have in common is the fact that you wouldn’t believe a word either of them said.
------------------------------

Religious War: People killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.